February 18th, 2020 – Enduring Until the End…

Captain’s Log: City to Gritty

My husband and I have planned, slept on, meditated and I’ve even prayed on the next steps of our livelihood.

During our time at the hotel a few days ago, we mapped out on journal paper the next steps of our life with dates. And then, we looked at it. “Does this feel right? Is this realistic? Can we live through this with joy?”

Have you ever planned your life over and over and over and over and over and over and over again? And lived through each plan with all-in intensity and work ethic? And finished each plan only to have the finish line disappear within seconds of reaching the completion ribbon? 😭

Both my hubs and I have been running back to back ultra marathons in our mental + physical energy since April 2018. We have not been our best selves. I’ve begged for this in-between stage to end relentlessly in my mind. I’ve even started talking to Source, which you know, it’s tough for me.

In my childhood, prayer was used as a weapon for control, judgement, passive-aggressiveness, regret, “repentance” and worse. As soon as I realized I could be liberated from that lifestyle, I felt FREE for the first time in my life. There is nothing worse than mental slavery to a philosophy that isn’t yours. Slavery that continues long after the chains are cut…

But that is where HEALING comes in. I keep thinking, “what got me here, won’t get me there.” It is not easy to do what we are doing. It’s not easy to constantly brainstorm and search for ways to continue to grow and expand while living in survival energy.

What I’ve learned is my “next level” challenge is transmuting survival energy into abundance. This is not easy!! Haha!! But again, “what got me here, won’t get me there.” And we are all alchemists. It’s time to create and make magic! ✨

What I know for sure, is when we ask for help, our Guides, Teachers and Source create situations to pull us to who we need in our lives most. Those closest to me know my health has suffered with the stress I’m experiencing. And in the pursuit of healing, new connections have been made in our home build and off grid journey. 😍

There is a timeline where we still build our aframe, and over the next few weeks we will be exploring new connections to see if we can keep this project alive. Because if we don’t **have to** start over, our first choice is absolutely to build our completed build pack as it’s 💯 ready to go to anyone willing to assemble the kit within our budget.

A wise man once taught me to “trust but verify”. And so far 100% of the people I’ve spoken to about our bid of $510k in labor (no materials—just labor) to assemble a cabin kit, finish one floor and pour a concrete basement, extremely overpriced. We’ve never built a house, so… who are we to know for sure the cost to assemble a 2,900 sq/ft kit home? Maybe it is a $1M+ project to assemble + finish 1 floor of a kit home, or maybe we are being taken advantage of?? Time will tell as we explore new connections. New connections that would have never happened unless I got sick.

The Universe works in mysterious ways y’all!! I’ll keep you posted ✨💪🏼🙏🏻


Melissa McCash You are amazing ❣️
I love your words. One thing is certain and that is spring is imminent! A very revitalizing time of year.
And, as we are both from the same spiritual beginnings, I 💯 agree with you on those points.
There’s a simple (effective from personal experience) task you can do to cut unhealthy cords. PM me and I’ll tell ya. Love you! You mountain goddess!1Delete or hide this