My whole life, I’ve never felt like I “fit in” or belonged. Growing up, I moved constantly (17 different states, 30+ moves, 13 different public schools, etc) which caused significant financial and emotional turmoil. My dad was the breadwinner but could not stay employed, so wherever and however long his job was is where we’d go and how long we’d stay.
He once got a job in Texas and by the time we packed the entire house, loaded everything into the moving van and drove 8 hours towards our new state—he had already lost it and we had to stop at an abandoned gas station and figure out where to go next.
As a child, I could never tell if I was going to be homeless and watch my mom beg my grandma to live at her house or if my dad would keep it together when he would land a “dream job” and we’d be galavanting through Macy’s and watching the latest show on Broadway. My childhood was always one of those 2 extremes.
I fully know how it feels to wear designer clothes one day and the next be paying for groceries with a welfare card. I know what it’s like to be popular and admired in one place only to be shunned and ignored in another. I know what it’s like to push myself and get accepted into the best schools in the world and what it’s like swallow an entire bottle of sleeping pills and pray to never wake up.
What I’ve learned the most in life trying to belong is that I was never meant to belong. I was never meant to fit in. I was never meant to follow the crowd because nothing in my life ever did. Ive learned that the feeling of “not belonging” is a symptom of being born to make a difference. And that being “normal” doesn’t exist. We are all so different by design. And we chose our challenges to unleash our greatness. It’s only hard when we forget the truth. The truth that our challenges are training us for who we are meant to be. And no matter what happens, if we keep going, we will get to where we want to be. It’s not a matter of “if”, but WHEN. 
Some wonder why I work so hard or make the choices I do that are so far away from the crowds. Choices like choosing organics over brand names. Or buying 35 acres and building a house while living off-grid in an RV instead of the typical suburban lifestyle. Or choosing difficult career paths like modeling, network marketing and writing books when I could easily just work for someone else for a fraction of the work ethic.
But, I can’t. Those of you who also don’t belong know this feeling too. Those of you who also worked so hard growing up know this feeling too. Those of you that long for the crowds but know they are not for you—YOU ARE MY PEOPLE. Let’s keep doing this!! Let’s stay strong 
COMMENTS:
- Evelyn ElvegaardYou should watch “The adjustment bureau”. There’s a scene in the where the main character is being told by “higher ups” why he went through what he did. I think you’ll find some answers there.
- Jai MacklinYou have such a beautiful spirit and a wonderful, relatable way with words. Thanks for sharing. I feel this.
- Kim Spidle OverpeckThis is beautiful!! Thank you for sharing with such sweet openness and vulnerability.
- Jonathan MarriottThanks for sharing your thoughts and growth in your life story
- Brett TurnerPreach
- Cristina Brown
Beautifully written, thanks for sharing your heart 
- Misti Franklin BriceSo much love!
- Briana JohnsonYou are a beautiful soul Rachel. A light worker in a such a true sense.
- Jessica KishI love your rawness. One question I’ve been meaning to ask. Do you daily have to ask “hey honey I need another picture for social media?”Yours are always so good.
- Rachel McCash CroninJessica Kish hahaha my hubs hates pictures though I will ask him here and there on occasion. Most of my pictures are with a cell phone tripod and setting the 10 second timer.
I used to use a Bluetooth shutter but no matter the price (both cheap and high end) they break so fast. So I just use the timer and run into place - Jessica KishRachel McCash Cronin thanks for your honesty. I may have to figure that out
- Rachel McCash CroninJessica Kish yessss it’s fun for me—I look at taking “selfies” more like “self portraits”. It’s an art of how I’m feeling at the time. Or at least I try to add some sort of artistic expression
- Rachel McCash CroninJessica Kish hahaha my hubs hates pictures though I will ask him here and there on occasion. Most of my pictures are with a cell phone tripod and setting the 10 second timer.
- Saraw VioletLove this. So very true!
- Rae LloydYou’re amazing and I love reading all of your posts
- David TerryKeep on being you!
- Rachel MoormeierI feel all of this mama!
- Debra Louise Zavala
- Norbie BelicinaThis is a mind of someone that believe you don’t need to fit in to be happy in this world. The choices you make are choices some ppl can’t make.
- Bonnie Barlowyour are awesome
- Heather Nicole SweitzerI feel this so much! We moved a ton growing up, and my life was always amazing or traumatic, and not many in between moments. Moved out when I was 16 and tried my best to figure it out. Didn’t really accomplish that u til after making tons of mistakes and learning that what I once thought I wanted wasn’t at all what I needed to grow and thrive. It finally clicked for me when I hit 30, and the last 5 years have been against the societal grain, and worth the struggles.
- Frankie McAdams BarlowBeautifully written !
- Annie BleierIntense story. You are very adaptable. I can relate on your moving a lot as a kid(. Although as single Mom, I’m not ashamed to live in Suburbia) I kinda like it. Amazing photo of you as always.
- Jennifer QuiggBeautiful soul
- Rachel Maria BallYessss
- Laura HornI feel this
- Marcia DudleyYou are a success story already, Rachel. Our experiences in life are ALWAYS there for us to build our lives on – our lives as they were meant to be.
- Shielia EricksonYou seem so amazing and intelligent and stunning! God has made a perfect little girl! Your going far in life!
- Collett AinsworthAbsolutely ! Great post!
- Niki LaMonicaYour statement resonates with me so so much. Different experience but same feelings of not belonging. It has taken me a long time to understand and embrace my uniqueness in this matrix world. Blessings!
- Diana BrayGirl, you are so darn inspiring and I’m glad I met you. You are definitely one of a kind and the kind of person we should all try to be… ourselves! God made each of us completely different and with our own purpose! I tell my grand daughters this all the time. They are not meant to be like everyone else, they are meant to be unique and follow their own paths, not anyone else’s! I only pray that they grow up with the strength and courage that you have! God bless you, beautiful lady! You have great things to do in this life!
- Kira Brokeshoulder GomezYour story is beautiful and so are you. I love seeing what yall are up to. Off grid living is so interesting to me.
- Renee CurtisI am a gypsy too. I love your words and it definately resonated with my life too.
- Sharra Bella CherI’ll be joining your lifestyle, thought I might of had another year. I wanted this property but needed 2 investors to match me. I still might have been able to do it with 1 but I’d been broke. It was large enough for an entire prepper community, 121 acres, a river w an island, fishing, boating, g a 3 mile deep cave with several rooms, 30ft. high, w an old foundation to a rock house, fireplace intact, a root cellar, It sold fast in about 1 week. Looking on my own, I couldn’t have done something so grand…. It’s a lot of work. I’ll be looking https://www.zillow.com/…/Country…/2078949444_zpid/…
ZILLOW.COMCountry Aire Rd #14-335, Ava, MO 65608 | ZillowCountry Aire Rd #14-335, Ava, MO 65608 | Zillow- Rachel McCash CroninSharra Bella Cher omg that property is incredible!!!! But when it’s your home, you’ll know and it’s will work out. When we saw our land, we knew we were home and sold our house to free up the cash to buy it. Which is why we are in an RV now. It worked out PERFECTLY. I’m excited for you to find your slice of heaven soon!!
- Sharra Bella Cher61 yr.s young, just not as strong as I used to be, but I get what you mean. I’ve lived in about 15 states and Panama. I came from a military family. I’ll be leaving Texas, looking Missouri, TN. or W.V. hopefully… somewhere I can afford some land. I want the cave, lol… but really could use a house… considering building partly underground. It nothing else a bug out shelter. There are many inexpensive ways to make an earthen home.
- Rachel McCash CroninSharra Bella Cher omg that property is incredible!!!! But when it’s your home, you’ll know and it’s will work out. When we saw our land, we knew we were home and sold our house to free up the cash to buy it. Which is why we are in an RV now. It worked out PERFECTLY. I’m excited for you to find your slice of heaven soon!!
- Tom SmokoffI’ve personally never felt I fit in… I think I was born a 100 years later than I should have been… I’m looking with friends for a parcel of land to live and build a few fully self sustained tiny homes on. Hopefully land with a lake or a river running through it. My grandfather h9mesteaded and had a ranch in Montana… perhaps the lifestyle is hereditary.
- Handlebar HenryI am curious about something..did you have a large family..you may have mentioned this..and also did your mom had a job or was she mostly working to take care of the familiy.