Captains log: City to Gritty
Today was one of those days where my lifetime training was needed. Waking up early to get Troy to school, trying to update my address at the post office…but I guess I needed my land deed, which I didn’t have on me, so no new address for me today. The postal worker wouldn’t even let me open a PO Box without my land deed which I though was bizarre. I’m pretty sure many people have opened PO Boxes without being land owners. But whatever-so I don’t have a way to receive or forward mail yet. And I have to be out of my house today.
So I race back, because carpet cleaners are due at 11am and I still have odds and ends in 3 rooms. Todd is at work (Monday), so I race and get it 90% done by the time he arrives.
Our IBC water tote guy drops off our two 330 gallon tanks at the same time. I race to unpack the check book and pay him while chasing my 20 month old and emptying the carpeted areas for the carpet cleaner.
Todd comes home early to help and notices our water tanks smell bad—he thought they were brand new. But these clearly weren’t brand new. So he’s investigating and I’m throwing everything into the garage, drenched in sweat.
We decide to just get the tanks cleaned and keep them-though it’s an extra step and process in getting water on our raw land.
We load our trailer bed, truck bed and my car for our first haul up to the land. I stop and pick up Troy on the way and then race up the mountain. It’s 2 hours before we are supposed to be fully out of our house.
We offload and entertain the kids and then race back through rush hour with 15 min until the new owners arrive and 6 hours more work ahead.
I’m painting damage done from our move company while Todd fixes a toilet. I’m also texting our new owners at the same time asking for more time—but they arrive.
We have a giant trash pile for the dump and a half full garage. They are super nice and we say we can have it done by 8pm. They offer tomorrow but we insist on tonight. And then they leave.
I’m racing to clear out the fridge, freezer, clean it and empty the rest into the garage. The kids are in meltdown mode-but I’m too focused to really care. Todd helps with the kids as I finish emptying and cleaning the master bath.
I’m a MACHINE. I’ve gone without food, water or a bathroom break for hours. I literally can’t stop working. I have to finish this project. Scrap off that crusty dirt, polish that faucet, empty that drawer, fit everything into that bin-my thoughts are only task based at this point.
Finally Todd brings me back to reality that we can’t finish. And we have to ask for more time. I’m looking at him like he must be lazy for not wanting to push through. This is what I’ve done my entire life.
But alas, I see my youngest crying and I see the amount of work left and I have to force myself to surrender. It’s painful. I get a lump in my throat. “How can I take a break when I’m so close to finishing?” Is all I think about.
My husband gets us a room at Wolfe Lodge, a local water park resort. Though I wanted to go to the RV so I can work more. He gently forces me to the resort.
We stop for noodles and company and cold stone on the way there, find our room, eat and relax. I realize I don’t really like needing to be human but when I stop and be human, I’m happier.
We get the kids in the tub and we all take long showers. In fact, I took a bath after my shower just fixated on the instant hot water. And the instant water. Both commodities I soon will no longer have without great effort.
And here I am at Wolfe Lodge resort- planning my day-taking Troy to school, picking up a lunch for him and then finishing out my house project—a project blast from skills I learned growing up.
It’s good to have an intuitive spouse. One of my greatest strengths is I’m a MACHINE when I’m focused. But the downside is I find everything—including things and people I love a distraction to my focus when I’m in machine focus.
Tonight as I tucked in my youngest on this huge queen sized bed, I kissed his forehead. I held him and nursed him and remembered how brilliant it is to have BALANCE.
Machine mode is great for accomplishing massive amounts of work-but nurturer mode holds more power because it’s shapes the future of my kids.
Today’s lesson-SURRENDER. Let go. Remember, it’s okay to miss a deadline. It’s okay to be a mom.
COMMENTS:
- Mendy Goodman When we got ours they only wanted an ID
- Mario J McCash Get going on that reality TV series!
- Bryan Huddleston Congratulations to you both, with more than a little awe at what and how you guys are creating – family and life!
- Brooke Weisbender-Wadsworth Tenacity ?? that’s why your life will keep growing in the direction of your dream. Unwillingness to surrender to life’s daily challenges ✔️
- Michael T Hoover Good job! Don’t forget to breath! ?
- Karen McCash Been there done that too…I’m proud of all of you. Here’s to the new adventure of a lifetime!